The festive season is typically a time for reconnecting with family and friends and for celebration in our communities. However, for elderly people, it can also be a high-risk period. Their feelings of loneliness are heightened, their experience of neglect and isolation intensified, and the likelihood of their abuse is even greater. These acts are perpetrated by members of their families and communities, either intentionally to exploit elderly people’s vulnerabilities or unintentionally due to a lack of awareness, differences in age, and varying expectations and needs between the elderly people and those around them.

So, this festive season, what can we all do to help combat loneliness, neglect, isolation, and abuse of elderly people, whether they are family members, friends, neighbors, or even strangers? A straightforward step, if you have elderly parents, is to spend time with them this festive season, especially if it has been a while since your last visit. Even if you recently visited them for another reason, your presence this particular season is essential because almost every other family will be coming together.

However, merely being physically present at home is not sufficient. Make sure you are readily available and create a relational atmosphere that allows elderly parents to enjoy your presence. Avoid showing distant demeanors for whatever reason, maybe even work-related, as it will only serve as another sad reminder of lost affection, intensifying elderly parents’ feelings of loneliness.

While in the company of elderly people, whether at home or in the community, spend less time scrolling through your social media timeline and more time conversing with them. Despite its allure, social media communities are virtual and can inadvertently make one insensitive to those physically present. If anything, this is the time elderly people not only want to share their experiences but also to hear about yours. So, give them as much time as possible, start or continue conversations with them, and listen. Often, they will talk about things for which one may not have a solution, matters that, although they may seem small and unimportant to you, actually mean a lot to them. Your responsibility is to just give a listening ear and show understanding.

When it comes to preparing for the festivities, ask for their opinion, for their preferences so that they feel relevant as active participants rather than passive recipients. Don’t wait to only serve them food at the table; involve them in choosing it, or better yet, engage them in the preparation in ways they can contribute. Because the excitement of a festive season like Christmas lies in the process more than the product.

Meanwhile, bear in mind gender bias in giving attention to elderly parents that leaves one gender isolated. For example, children often engage more with their mothers than fathers, as festive activities are typically gendered towards women. So, it is important to deliberately find ways to engage the father as well, making sure he gets to feel a part of everything.

For those who may not, for whatever reason, be able to join their elderly parents at home, make sure to send food items and gifts so that they do not feel neglected. If a friend is passing by, ask them to check on your elderly parents, to deliver any gifts, and to relay your regrets in person, instead of packing them in a taxi!

Even if you do not have immediate elderly parents, reach out and support those in your neighborhood. The welfare of elderly people, like children, in our African society, is a communal responsibility. Play your part by checking in on the elderly next door, stopping by for a chat, or giving a gift. If they live alone, offer to help with household chores like cleaning, laundry, or dishes, as this can alleviate their feelings of isolation due to a lack of familial and social connections.